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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Puzzleheaded-Box9467 on 2023-08-25 00:27:41.
I (24f) own a home with my husband Andrew (25m) that we’ve been slowly renovating for the past two years. We decided to forego spending money on a wedding or a honeymoon and instead got a cute (but very old lol) house.
My sister Jenna (30f) and her husband separated a few months back, and she’s been staying with us until she can get back on her feet.
Things were mostly fine in the beginning, I’ve never had issues with my sister before, and she’s always liked Andrew so I never thought there would be any problems. Andrew and I have always been a snuggly couple. It’s nothing over the top, just forehead kisses, hand holding, and arm hugging mostly. I will admit that now that I’m pregnant (due in late dec), Andrew has been way more snuggly.
If he’s not fixing something in the house, sitting at his computer working, or running an errand, then he’s probably either touching my belly or thinking about doing it lol. He’s excited about being a dad and I think it’s really sweet so I don’t mind.
Jenna has been passive aggressive about it since he started doing it. She’ll roll her eyes in annoyance or make a bit of a dramatic show of leaving the room. It’s honestly been annoying but Andrew and I have mostly just ignored it.
Last night when I was curled up on the couch not feeling well, Andrew brought me a drink, kissed my forehead, and then touched my belly while jokingly scolding our baby for making me sick. Jenna kind of huffed, but she waited until Andrew went back to putting some furniture together in the other room before she told me that I needed to stop being such an insensitive jerk by “flaunting” my happy marriage in her face.
I told her I was sorry that she’s going through a tough time in her own marriage, but I’m flaunting anything and it’s not like Andrew and I were doing it to antagonize her. She said we were being inconsiderate and that as long as she’s staying at the house we need to keep our affections confined to our bedroom.
Finally I said that it was our home, so I wouldn’t be asking my husband to only act affectionate towards me behind closed doors, and that if it really was that difficult for her to see us together then maybe she’d be better off staying somewhere else.
Well that upset her because she packed some of her stuff up and left shortly afterwards. Today I’ve been getting all kinds of messages from our mom saying how cruel it was of me to toss Jenna out, and I got a message from Jenna saying she still can’t believe how insensitive I’m being about this.
Andrew has assured me that I wasn’t being cruel or insensitive about any of it, but I still feel unsure so I wanted to get some opinions from people who are removed from the situation.
ETA:
I just wanted to answer a few questions I keep seeing.
Jenna was staying with my husband and I instead of our mom because we have more space at our house than our mom does in hers. It’s also a shorter commute to Jenna’s job from here, so it was for convenience but I do want to make a point of saying that I love my sister and I wanted to be there for her while she was going through her separation.
She was also made aware that I was pregnant almost a month before she started staying with us. I found out really early on and she was the second person I told.
I’m also not a huge fan of excessive displays of affection in front of others, and so I didn’t really think that Andrew and I had crossed a line or been “overly” affectionate in her presence.