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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Stunning_Champion741 on 2023-08-24 22:20:17.
So I, 43m, have three kids, Lacey (12f), Alison (9f), and Carson (8m). Lacey and Alison are super close, they share a room and everything. However, they dislike Carson because he always likes to pick on them. My wife is a SAHM and I get a day off on Sunday. Whenever I’m at work and Carson picks on Lacey or Alison, my wife usually does nothing and says ‘boys will be boys’.
Whenever I’m home, I try to punish my son, but the next day, my wife doesn’t enforce it. I once told him he had to wash dishes for 2 days, and he did it the day when I was home, but the next day when I wasn’t, my wife did them.
On Monday, my daughters were playing in their room while it was locked. Carson really hates being left out and so he started running into the door so they would let him in. They still wouldn’t let him in though and kept on playing (they don’t like playing with him because he always gets mad when he loses). He then got the keys that led to every room in the house in my wife and I’s room (they were supposed to be hidden) and unlocked the door. My daughters were playing uno and Carson demanded they let him play too. When they said they didn’t want to, my son got really mad and slammed shut the open laptop on Lacey’s desk. He closed it with so much force that it stopped working.
Lacey was really upset and went downstairs to tell my wife. My wife then got mad at her and said it was her fault for not just letting Carson play with them. She also refused to buy her a new one. When I got home and my daughter told me the situation, I spoke with my wife and asked her what punishment she gave our son. She said none. I then discussed with her how we should punish him. My wife said that she thought he didn’t need punishing because ‘boys will be boys’. I told her that punishment was absolutely necessary and I suggested no electronics for 2 months. After some more back and forth, she reluctantly agreed. I then took the iPad and hid it in my car (My wife has her own car) so my wife couldn’t just give it back the next day.
We then discussed getting my daughter a new laptop. My wife said that we shouldn’t and that it would be a good punishment. I don’t even think she did anything wrong, if they don’t want to play with him, then they don’t want to play. She’ll also need a laptop for her schoolwork since school is starting soon. My wife didn’t agree, but I bought her a new laptop anyways. I bought it with my own money since we don’t share finances.
It’s been a few days now, and I’ve been getting texts from some of my inlaws saying the punishment towards my son was too harsh and that buying my daughter a new laptop made it worse. Lacey literally needs a laptop for her schoolwork, and if we don’t punish our son then he’ll never learn. So, AITA? Should I lessen my son’s punishment?