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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Pretend_Tough7160 on 2023-08-24 17:19:27.
I work as a kind of personal assistant/art handler & organizer to an individual with an extensive collection. It’s an interesting job and I get a lot of opportunities for new experiences and invitations to events. My boss and I do not have the same tastes in art - he’s an older, very traditional guy and that reflects in the events I get invited to/the people that I’m interacting with at these events.
We have a world famous opera in our city and I was gifted two tickets to the opera last weekend, with an invitation to attend a pre show cocktail party in a private area. This was not a work event for me but still a networking opportunity and a gift from my boss’s personal friend.
My fiancé was visiting family so I invited my friend Sara to join me. She arrived at my house Saturday afternoon to get ready with me. She had brought a dress to wear that I didn’t think she should. It was very pretty but more like a club dress than an event dress, bright pink and very short. And our opera is known for a “no dress code, just be fabulous” approach so it was fine for the venue itself but I knew the pre party was going to be an older, more “traditional opera dress” crowd (I wore a deep green floor length dress, for reference). I offered her the option of choosing something out of my closet and told her that I thought she might be uncomfortable at the party because of the type of group they were but she wanted to wear that dress so I didn’t push it.
At the party, most of the attendees didn’t seem interested in engaging with her and while outwardly polite, it did feel like they were equally uncomfortable with her presence as she was being there. She stayed next to me the whole time which was fine but she was sullen and kept grabbing my arm to whisper in my ear that we should leave.
After the 3rd time Sara pulled me out of a conversation and told me she wanted us to leave the party, I got irritated and told her it was too damn bad that she was uncomfortable, I warned her. There’s two bars out in the public area, she could go hang out there and I’d join her in an hour for the show but I couldn’t leave yet without looking bad. I might not have been “working” but I accepted the invitation and now my behavior here reflects on my boss and that ultimately affects my job regardless of it not being officially work.
Sara stayed at the party instead and eventually it was over and we attended the show. She didn’t speak to me at all on the drive home and texted me after I dropped her off that she was upset by the way I had treated her and that I should have left when she wanted. I think that’s unfair, I talk about my job all the time and she knows very well what expectations are placed on me at these events and how I am expected to act. I tried to tell her but obviously I wasn’t going to force her to change? But she’s still mad and a mutual friend is guilting me for “not caring” about Sara’s comfort and im starting to feel a little bad and idk, AITA?