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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ArrivalLife6827 on 2023-08-24 15:52:02.
My brother David 55 isn’t the most responsible person in the world. He drinks too much and can’t hold a job since he has an accident on a quad that left him in a coma for three months.
He has two kids whom it has been my privilege to help raise. David’s ex Meredith and I have a good relationship. She stayed with my wife and I after he quit his job to go diving in Indonesia “for a while”. Our kids have all grown up together.
Meredith married a man a few years ago and he has become part of our family. But my niece Maddi doesn’t want him to walk her down the aisle as she was already an adult when she met him and while they are on good terms she doesn’t see him as a father figure.
Maddi asked me instead. I was very happy to agree to participate in her wedding. I held her the day she was born and watched her grow up.
The wedding was last weekend and surprisingly David showed up. My mom had basically bullied him into getting up and dressed in time to be there.
My mom looked all happy with herself to get her oldest son to his daughter’s wedding. Maddi was happy he was there but hadn’t really expected him to show up. Meredith told the ushers to sit him up front with the family. My mom and David asked why he should go sit when he showed up to walk his daughter down the aisle.
It almost became na problem until Maddi’s brother came and grabbed his dad and told him to go sit because I was more of a gather to them than he ever had been.
David and my mom went and sat but they weren’t happy. At the reception all they could talk about was how David had made the effort to be there and that he had been excluded.
I was livid that he considered showing up for his fucking daughter’s wedding “an effort”.
To pacify him Maddi asked him if he would do a father daughter dance with her after ours. He declined because he was upset that I got one as well. The thing is that we actually had a choreographed dance ready to go. We have been practicing for weeks. He literally could not do that dance.
It is all a shit show and a lot of the family has taken his and my mom’s side that I usurped his place in the wedding. Now he is spreading old rumors about the three years that Meredith lived with my wife and I.
I’m wondering whether I should have asked Maddi to let him walk her down the aisle.