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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Distortionduck on 2023-08-24 19:05:06.
For context my (F25) partner (M24) and I have been together for almost 5 years, this started becoming an issue February 2023, we started living together in later in the year of 2020.
My partner has always watched porn, and I always knew this, it was never my favorite but I could respect it you know? Especially not living together, it really didn’t bother me at all, we all need outlets. Then cut to living together, I guess I wasn’t aware of the frequency, I personally used to watch porn everyday/often but after living together it definitely died down since I have my partner and just lost interest in porn overtime, but for my partner it was still daily, many times waking up in the morning and going to the bathroom to find that, or coming home from work early to that. I expressed it just made me feel a type of way, with reassurance he helped me see porn is a tool, and with that I was able to understand, the whole hard boundary I established was no paying for porn, no live webcamming.
Cut to February I see on his computer a folder for links saved to cam girls, I just lost it. He had crossed one of my boundaries, I deleted all his porn folders (multiple) all his saved tabs, I wanted him to delete his porn twitter and everything, I was just over it. I don’t get the requirement of porn, I’m not taking away masturbating or self pleasure but why does it have to always be someone else on the screen. Even though I’ve made videos, I’ve tried having sex every single day, I keep trying and he keeps saying he won’t watch it since it hurts my feelings but he didn’t stop.
Yesterday things came to a head, I found him in a public parking lot less than half a mile away from home, you could guess from there. I finally asked “is porn more important than me?” And which he replied “Yes.”
For him he’s choosing himself over me, porn is apart of who he is it seems and no matter how much I cry about this matter, get angry etc at the end of the day I am just not enough. We are in relationship counseling and I’m just at a loss. I don’t want to lose him to f*cking porn.
Am I wrong in how I feel? I don’t think porn is a bad thing but over time I’ve realized it doesn’t make me feel good in my relationship? I’m F 25, do I just have a stick up my ass? I’m sure there’s many of F that doesn’t care what their partner watches, why do I?
I don’t what to do, is there a moving forward?