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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PittOlivia on 2023-08-24 16:48:14.

My friend started seeing a guy who told her he was married and had kids. He just wanted a sexual relationship. She was ok with that she said. 6 months later she was mad that he didn’t want to leave his wife for her and she went to tell his wife. So that ended their little set up but his wife forgave him . Four years later my friend contacts him again on fb . She apologizes and tells him that now she’s ready for just a sexual relationship. Everything’s going great til 6 months later and after a quick morning session he tells my friend he’s not feeling well. He drives home and dies after getting home. My friend finds out because she doesn’t hear from him for some days and calls a mutual friend of theirs who tells her.

She’s hysterical when she calls me. I get that it’s a shock. His wife has found their secrete messages on his phone. My friend finds out the date of his burial. She insists she’s going. I tell her not to. She attends. His sister tells her to go home. Every time we talk she’s talking about him and how she’s visiting his grave and is leaving little trinkets hearts and frames by his grave.

I asked her if she has thought about how his wife and kids might feel about this. But she insist that she’s in mourning and this is her way of dealing with it. I might be insensitive but I tell her I find it disrespectful. And that if this was her husband would she want her dead husbands f buddy doing that. So in her own words I’m insensitive. And probably an ahole. I’m just confused when she had told me many times that their rendezvous was just sex. And that’s all she wanted.

So AITA for putting some distance between this friend and myself and not being there as much as i probably would have had it been a friend or family member of hers who had died ?