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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Agreeable_Sea6935 on 2023-08-24 14:23:45.
Hi all
I [26M] am a construction site manager working on a huge infrastructure project. My beautiful girlfriend “Francesca” [31F] is a senior engineer on the the project.
We just discovered Francesca is pregnant and we’re both delighted. We haven’t made a decision about which of us will take a year out for parental leave, but she’ll definitely take the last couple of months before the birth out. She said before that she intends to work as much as she can.
I’m a bit worried about this. Francesca mainly does her thing in the office, but she occasionally goes onto the site to observe the work being done. Like most construction sites, it’s full of hazardous dust, chemicals which produce toxic fumes, slip and trip hazards and other dangers. Obviously the workers and Francesca will wear PPE and respiratory protective equipment, but I feel like even then, there’s more of a risk to an expectant mother and her unborn child.
But she doesn’t want to be stuck in the office, as she’s very passionate about seeing her work being “brought to life”. I don’t see why this is so important. She isn’t doing the physical work or managing it, and the site teams produce detailed reports at the end of every shift. Surely that’s safer than risking herself and the baby out there?
I was working late yesterday so she got home before me. The topic came up again and turned into an argument. She accused me of “trying to control her career” and called me a “typical construction worker” who is “obsessed with being a manly man”. I said that wasn’t fair and that I just wanted her and our baby to be safe. She went upstairs in tears and slept in our spare room.
I don’t want to control her or her career, I just don’t want her or our baby to get hurt.
AITA?