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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/weirdwhimsy on 2023-08-24 15:08:41.
Last night my boyfriend and I were at a brewery with some of his friends and one of the guys mentioned a new woman he’s seeing. I brought up some fun, cute fall date ideas and he said they seemed great because in our area, fall is like the prime cute date time.
Then turned to my boyfriend and said “Hey! It sounds like you should be planning some fun fall dates!” and my boyfriend said “If SHE wants to do that, she’s going to have to plan it.”
I’ve been thinking about ending things lately because it doesn’t seem like they’re going to get better. We’ve been dating since our mid 20s and we’re in our 30s now. I think we’ve grown apart and matured…differently. The way he responded kind of sums up where we’re at now.
I plan everything. Dates, dinner, our cats vet appointments, when we need to go grocery shopping. I’m tired of feeling like I’m interrupting him when he’s rotting on the couch playing video games for hours on end. I feel like a burden at this point, tiptoeing around him and his fucking PS5 and I think I’ve wasted enough time.
If he can plan multiple D&D campaigns and pour a ton of time into his other hobbies that require planning, why am I always left planning everything? The way he said “if SHE wants to do that, she’s going to have to plan it” felt so hurtful and full of resentment like he resented me for having needs or something.
Everyone thinks he’s a good man because he’s mild mannered and is generally likable or whatever (unless you’re me, I guess). I’m tired of being the only one trying. And I don’t see this changing even if I really sit down with him and try to talk about it.
Has anyone else gone through this and made it to the other side?