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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Living-Alfalfa-2983 on 2023-08-24 13:32:03.
Women who get cat called and hounded by strange men are not women you should be envious of at all, no matter how insecure you feel about yourself. These women who consistently get the wrong type of male attention are at risk of getting seriously hurt all because they deliberately ignore obnoxious men treating them like pieces of meat. Isn’t cat calling a version of bullying?
I remember being an ugly ducking as a teenage girl. I only yearned for male attention from guys my own age, not strange men/teachers who lust after teenage girls. Some teenage girls have weird stories about their male teachers lusting after them (and them being physically appealing to older boys and men) and I remember being so grateful I didn’t relate to those stories (despite me being insecure about being an ugly teenage girl at the time). I never opened my mouth to tell those girls to “be grateful” that men pay attention to them. That is an extremely misogynistic thing to say to another woman.
It disgusts me that people feel envious of women who are frequent targets of creepy men. It reeks of internalized misogyny and pick me behavior. Women who think like this need to grow up.
Even my mom is like this. I can never vent to her about getting attention from strange men (the type of men she won’t even want me to be with if I had them as boyfriends). She doesn’t care how these men are because she’s grateful that men find me attractive.
In our Nigerian culture, a woman’s self worth is revolved around whether men find her attractive and want to marry her. It’s very sad and pathetic and our culture is extremely misogynistic towards women.