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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/x-Sevenie-x on 2023-08-24 00:45:29.

For a little bit of background; my husband’s best friend never liked me since I had a “tiff” with his ex girlfriend. I had made a post on Facebook that I was looking for donations to help a friend get on her feet after escaping from a very abusive relationship. She felt the need to comment something negative about me “asking for handouts”.

Fast forward to when he had a new girlfriend. After I helped that friend through her hardship and breakup… I decided every Christmas season I was going to pick a friend and do a “cheer” hamper for them. So I would post online again. I did this for like three years in a row before my hubby’s friend got the new girlfriend. We got acquainted.

She saw my Facebook post and did the SAME THING his ex did! But she got worse. She went to every possible Facebook group she could…just to blast me. Where she got completely roasted because people thought I was doing a beautiful thing. My husband’s friend completely blew up at him and told him that he and his girlfriend refused to come to our wedding because he could not support such a person like me. ( of course he called me every name in the book) He then tells my husband " her or me, because I’m not going to be your friend anymore."

Fast forward a year later. We are happily married, etc. His friend literally didn’t talk to him for that entire year, ghosted him even. He then messages him late November and invites him to his wedding. My hubby and I assumed it was both of us as an invite. so i got him to ask about plus ones. He said we are doing plus ones but your wife cannot come! I said…".if you go to that wedding you are disrespecting me, our entire marriage and even yourself for how he treated you. He refused to come to our wedding and completely dissed our marriage and was vocal about the refusal of support if it were me you were marrying. It would be like a slap to the face if you go. I dont think you should. "

The dude also invited him unofficially on facebook like two weeks before the wedding. My husband took a little bit to decide. But went with what I told him. And didn’t go. For the record; i wouldnt have wanted him to go/ us to go even if i was allowed. To go…and feel hated by the bride and groom. Weird. Awkward.

I feel guilty because even my hubby’s mom and brother went to the wedding, and didn’t understand why he didn’t go, and of course i got blamed and told i was controlling when all i feel i did was give my husband insight to feelings that were already there…AITA?