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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ntayta on 2023-08-23 09:49:46.

My husband (36) and I (34) have been married for 4 years (no kids) and he’s always had a bit of a problem with finishing too soon, although it’s not all the time (but usually). When it does happen it’s extremely frustrating for me especially when we are in the mood (which is less common these days than when we first met…given age and just being busy/tired).

I’ve noticed over time that sex has become a lot less passionate and more one-sided. For example, the other night I was exhausted, but he was feeling it so I went along anyway. Once he finished I was happy for him and we went to sleep (I was really tired anyway). So the next night I was in the mood and he was a bit busy (doing stuff for us), but I started playing with him anyway… Well this resulted in him finishing in a couple mins (or less?). He apologized and offered a second round later (although I know that likely wouldn’t happen). I was upset and just said I was going to sleep. Usually once he finishes, he just continues on with whatever he was doing before and I’m left sexually frustrated.

In my frustration I brought up the idea of an open relationship so I could have my sexual needs met. We’ve actually discussed this before (a couple years prior) and he was on board, but then he felt it wasn’t balanced when I eventually met with an old fwb. At the time this was about the difference in our libido (my sex drive being a lot higher).

We started discussing what happened the first time we attempted the open relationship and how I didn’t end up doing anything with the fwb and my husband backtracked on the idea…this convo didn’t really go anywhere other than him denying he was upset about it and just felt it wasn’t a balanced arrangement.

He seemed annoyed, so I was wondering AITA for bringing this up right after he finished so quickly?

I love my husband very much, but I’m don’t know how else to get this feeling taken care of. For the record I don’t like oral sex so that doesn’t work. We do use toys/fingers to help, but sometimes that doesn’t quite do it for me. Sometimes I just want a nice session of PIV.