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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/dumboleifi on 2023-08-22 13:09:20.
Some background info: I work an office job in the public sector. My team consists of 6 people including me and the co-worker in question. This person and I are not close, we interact strictly professionally and I don’t personally like her very much. I do try to treat her with the same respect i treat every co-worker. If it’s relevant I’m in my thirties and the co-worker is in her fifties.
So the current situation is as follows:
Last week she told us she had to leave work early, but didn’t specify why. I later heard from another co-worker that it was some kind of problem in her family. She was back the next day and didn’t say anything about it to me. I figured it was personal and kept out of it.
Yesterday she left work again, this time without telling anyone why except one co-worker. This co-worker later told me it was because her daughter needed to be taken to the emergency room because she had been diagnosed with diabetes.
This morning the co-worker in question was back. We exchanged the usual pleasantries in the morning and had some interactions related to work but nothing more. At lunch she was fuming, she told me she thought I was callous because I didn’t ask about her daughters health. She said she knew the other co-worker told me the situation yesterday so the only reason I didn’t ask was because i didn’t care. I told her I didn’t want to interfere in her personal life and she stormed off.
So my thinking is that considering our relationship I thought she would tell me if she wanted me to know about it, or wanted to talk about it. Since she didn’t I didn’t ask her about her daughter because to me that is interfering in someones private/personal life.
Am I the asshole for not asking her about her daughter?