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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Comfortable-Fee3750 on 2023-08-22 14:45:14.
I was brought in to train some new colleagues today - an international, male newbie asked “so when are you expecting” within the first ten minutes, whilst gesturing a baby bump, and I looked at him and said “I’m not pregnant.” I somehow kept a smile on my face but I blushed a deep, shade of purple. He kept insisting he thought I was, so I thought he had mistaken me for another trainer with the same name and said “oh maybe someone else is expecting” to try and make him feel better, as I thought he was just repeating a rumour.All the new trainees started listening and asked what had happened & he “tried to make me feel better” by ever-so-kindly explaining that he thought my stomach roll was a baby belly. I was absolutely mortified, shattered and angry, but didn’t want to cause a scene. He just called me fat! I mentioned he is from an international country as I’m trying so hard to give him some grace to language or cultural barriers but this one stung.
He comes over later & profusely apologises, says he can’t believe he did that, mentions he’s too embarrassed to look at me etc. BUT THEN says “You have a great body but honestly I just mistook your stomach fat for a baby bump, the same way when I wear my belt too tight and it bulges.” I smiled and just “it’s fine, forget it” as he continued to dig himself a hole.I’m usually quite direct & to the point, so I’m disappointed I kept reassuring his fragile ego instead of asking him to please just shut up. I honestly just froze in shock & couldn’t believe this thing, that so many women experience, was actually happening to me. I think I would’ve felt better if it was a random female, or a loving family member, but this is a strange man I have to see at work every day & he just constantly reinforced that my BELLY was FAT lol.
I’m 5’10 & very Top Heavy, so I carry 80% of my weight mainly my stomach. My stomach has been my biggest insecurity for over a decade, all the women in my family have bigger bellies so I know it’s genetic but I’ve probably used it as an excuse to over-eat in a “well I’ll never be skinny so may as well eat what I love” sort of mentality…But the worst bit is I’ve recently lost 10kg and people keep telling me how great I look & I was starting to believe them even though my stomach hasn’t changed one iota. I’m sad that no matter how much weight I lose I’ll always have a big stomach and this just reinforced all the negative self-talk I’ve been saying to myself for years :(