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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/in-law-drama-temp on 2023-08-22 07:55:57.
So this has been causing a bit of an issue in my family and very few are on my side including “Eve” my babysitter who is the very person I’m defending ( to be fair she just doesn’t want to be the cause of fight).
I recently found out that my sister-in-law for the past year and half has been dropping her two kids off for a few hours each week with Eve my babysitter, so that sister-in-law can either go grocery shopping, take a nap, gym or to the salon to get her hair/ nails done. Eve is a generous and kindhearted person who I know would have a difficult time saying no to a pushy person like my sister-in-law. Eve did say that she prefers that sil didn’t but she doesn’t want to cause trouble and didn’t want me to do anything.
So over the weekend I had a chat with sil and I asked her to stop asking Eve to take care of her kids and that she needed to look into daycare or get her own nanny as Eve will no longer be doing free childcare for her. I even gave her the details of nanny/babysitter service that could match her with someone.
Since then my in-laws have been on my ass pretty much. They’re saying that I should “share” Eve with sil and when I sarcastically asked if they’d go half’s with me and we’d split Eve’s 80k salary and suddenly it’s sil could never afford that. I of course knew she couldn’t pay even half her wages. So I asked her to then at least pay her 25 an hour every time she dumps her kids on her. This also was met with she can’t afford it.
So I told her that if she can’t afford it than she’d need to watch her own kids. Apparently that was rude and I’m using my money to bully them. I don’t think I’m the asshole in this and in fact I think they are for thinking it’s normal to have free childcare. My husband is also pissing me off, because he thinks I’m being an asshole for saying anything and for even ask they pay. Now after having discussed this with my colleague I’m starting to doubt it as she pointed out that Eve has been put into awkward situation since my sil did text her asking if she was okay with her having dropped her kids off with her.
But the thing is I know Eve I know she’s just too shy to say no or she’s possibly worried that this could maybe effect her job(not that it would and I have reassured Eve that her job is in no way or shape in jeopardy)
So am I being an asshole and should I let it go?