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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/jisoosfavtree on 2023-08-22 13:15:12.
most probably no one will see this like most of my other posts but I’ll write for the sake of ranting.
i am turning 18 in a few months and this is my last year in school. we’ll have our session ending this december.
for context i never had any very good friends in the sense, that i could share my issues and problems with them. ray and i have been friends for 14-15 years and always been together, i used to consider her as a best friend back until 5th grade. she’s suffering from BPD currently and i try my best to help her but she’s always demanding so much, im tired. always taking even before BPD and never giving anything. any emotional, physical, mental stress, she could always turn to me, but it wasn’t mutual, she never tried to understand me. im quite over her though.
i trauma bonded over internet gro*ming with two of my schoolmates, we knew each other but weren’t friends with e/o. one of the girl (jia) , moved school last year and we rarely have time to talk let alone spend together. only calls done between us 3 are initiated by me. as if they don’t care. jia said the other girl (tina) isn’t that close to her, to me. it was a surprise because it’s been 2+ years already and suddenly she says im like a mutual between them. it hurt like shit.
tina is in different section at and we meet everyday for short durations. she would prefer hanging out with her other friend group, which she’s friends with longer than me, so i understand somewhere but she would accompany another girl whom she met last year, regarding student council work , which im also part of. it hurts because we’re supposed to be closer. she would call that other girl all names like love, jokingly and would feel bad when she’s excluded but would just bat an eye when im excluded. i wasn’t that affected until all this that happened today.
im deciding to let all three of them go.
there’s also this girl who’s friend with the girl who loves to separate tina and me and hangs out with her during student council work. her name can be sia.
i got sort of excited to be friends with her, somewhere even obsessed because I enjoyed being with her too much. but she also ignored me on texts but i got over it, as we’re not THAT close. but still i am hurt somewhere, but not as much as the above ones.
jia wanted to confront tina about how we don’t call and it’s like we’re not the same friends anymore. we used to be super close online as we met online properly during covid. when school started jia left, so idk how our friendship would’ve been.
i just need advice if anyone is free and is able to understand. the moments tina would not go with me but willingly go away with that other girl, it hurts too much. we have teacher’s day coming up and everyone is participating, pitching in ideas but i can’t think of anything and i feel so left out… sometimes i wonder if i even belong here. can’t wait for school to end forever, my memories of last year are ruined for now.
thankyou for reading.