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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/throw-this-away67e7e on 2023-08-22 11:40:48.

Lately I’ve been thinking about dating again and I’ve been carefully dipping my toes in to test the waters. I have noticed a lot of behaviour that made me think about the fundamentals of why men are so difficult to deal with for women. Besides that I’ve been reading posts from this sub to see if my thoughts align with things that commonly happen to women.

What I’m currently exploring is lack of empathy (not a little bit of empathy, but none at all). Having little to no empathy is fueled by or fuels selfishness, arrogance, narcissism and could be a stepping stone to manipulation (“if they disagree I’ll make them agree”). I also thought about how frustrating it is to see so many men lack this basic function.

This (in my opinion) comes back in EVERY story on this subreddit. EVERY SINGLE STORY. Men forgetting about important dates and parties isn’t because they forgot, but they just don’t care to remember because it’s “not a big deal” even if it obviously is to her.

Just today I saw a post on here about a husband scaring his wife a lot, even though she screamed at him right after the first time that he shouldn’t do it. He didn’t stop, because he thought “Well I personally find it funny so I’m not going to stop” without even considering his wife. I read in the comments that one woman had a similar experience and she had to go into therapy because he scared her every time she stood in the shower and she became too afraid to clean herself.

I don’t know if it’s the same with you guys but when I look back at all the shit men did in my life it all seems to come back to “no empathy”.

SO. How the fuck do you test a man for this? Not all men are completely oblivious that humans are social animals and we should care for eachother. So how do I find one? What kind of question tests empathy at a deeper level? And not just at a “would you help an old lady cross the road” type of question.

Edit: have only been on a date with a couple women that were selfish but it was never as bad as a man.