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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Mobile-Loquat9371 on 2023-08-21 17:14:54.
I (18F) just started my freshman year of college last week. At my university, it is not mandatory that you live on campus the first year, and I did not want to live in a dorm, so my parents helped me apartment hunt. They mostly just gave me tips or helped when asked because they wanted me to pick what I thought would be best for me, since I’m ultimately going to be the one paying for the rent. I chose a place very close to campus (5-15 minute walk depending on which building you’re heading to) and with great amenities in relation to my rent payment. It’s not campus-owned, but it is exclusively marketed to students and has a questionnaire on the application for the purpose of placing you with your roommates that asks about your major, greek affiliation, clubs, etc.
Anyway, I applied, got accepted, and got a letter two weeks prior to move-in with my apartment number, bedroom number, and the name/phone # of my new roomies for a 3-bed unit. We made a group chat and started to get to know each other. Layla (19F) is a sophomore, and Mina (23F) is a college super senior. I found out what they study, what they like, what they hate, what they’re allergic to, their ground rules, etc. Everything seemed great. Then the day I move in I learn Mina is married. Her husband Kurt (25M) is nice, but he didn’t leave. After a couple days I come to learn that he lives in the apartment with Mina. Definitely not what I was expecting and not what I signed up for. The apartment complex does not do co-ed living unless you and another person apply together for a 2-bed unit.
I ended up asking Mina offhandedly where Kurt stays just to confirm, and she said he lives with her in her room. She asked me in a joking tone if I’d be “hush hush” about it because the leasing office doesn’t know and this is the cheapest option for them with all the amenities they want until they get a house together, which they’re planning to purchase/finance in the spring when they’re sure Mina is going to graduate. They’re also apparently trying (or will start trying) for a baby because they’re ready for a family.
I’m upset and uncomfortable and I don’t know what to do. I want to report Mina to the leasing office and get her removed, but I’m worried that even thought they’re the ones breaking the rules that I might just be overreacting. I really don’t like living with a grown man I don’t know when I signed up to live with other girls, primarily in my age group. I was excited to move in with people that I wouldn’t feel weird walking around in a sports bra and gym shorts, and being able to go to the fridge in the middle of the night for a snack in my underwear, and not having to lock the door every time I go in or leave my room, but I don’t feel like I can do that with Kurt here. I’ve already caught him looking me up and down and I really don’t want it to go past that and there be drama on top of all of this. Would I be the asshole if I just report the situation to my landlord?
EDIT- I’ll be talking to Layla tomorrow when we’ve got some time alone. Also I need to clarify something that seems to have been misunderstood. Mina and Kurt wouldn’t be homeless, they would just have to move back in with their parents. When I said in my explanation they would have “nowhere to go” I meant that, as far as I know, they don’t have relatives in town or a friend with an extra room. So Mina would likely have to switch her classes to online or take a gap semester or gap year before finishing her degree, that is if she can’t find someone to stay with, IF she even gets removed from the apartment. Also, she and Kurt aren’t “broke college kids”. They both come relatively well-off families, I’m guessing, because they each have new, pretty expensive cars and no payments, and Mina has mentioned to me that she’ll be graduating debt free and never had to take out a loan. This is all on top of the fact that Kurt has no job, which got confirmed to me like an hour ago, and they’ve both talked in front of me about how they’ll be able to afford a 10k down-payment on a house in spring. They’re also looking for home back in the city they’re from which is far more expensive than buying a place in most of the rest of the state. Maybe I’m being a bit presumptuous, but I think they would’ve been able to financially handle moving into a different place. I’ll update again tomorrow after talking to Layla.