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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Totally_Kyle0420 on 2023-08-13 14:02:47.
Yesterday I was accosted by an old guy that I had never interacted with before. I was walking my dog around my apartment building and he got really, uncomfortably close to us, and then proceeded to give my dog a jump scare and yell “boo!”. My dog (a 60lb boxer, sweet as can be) started barking and howling and trying to run away. I said to the guy “what are you doing? stop doing that!” and then he proceeded to get waaay up in my space and said it was just a joke and then told me I need to grow up (I’m in my 30s btw). Then! He walked away and kept glancing over his shoulder at me the entire time, and walked right into my apartment building which requires key card access (so now I know he lives there).
I ended up reporting it to the management office. I don’t know the guy but I know the building has cameras around the perimeter of the building and the interaction should have been captured. In my email I made it abundantly clear that if my husband had been outside with the dog, or any other man for that matter, this guy wouldn’t have approached and verbally assaulted me in the first place. I also made it clear that I will not tolerate being the target of intimidation and misogyny and that the management better follow up on this before I let people know that they tolerate this kind of bullshit for their residents.
And as fate would have it, I just ran into this guy again this morning! He was behind me coming out of the front door to the building, and I wanted to let the door slam on his face but I ended up just holding it for him so as to not trigger his already fragile ego and escalate the situation from yesterday. He very casually said “hey” to me as he walked through the door as if he wasn’t shouting at me just 18 hours ago. The apartment building has probably like 100 units in it, and I have never noticed him before but now I have a feeling I’m going to see him everywhere.
For some stupid reason, I am disappointed in myself for holding the door for him. I shouldn’t have been polite to him, but it’s just so drilled into my psyche that I need to be “good” and “nice” and “understanding” and “forgiving” (but I have NOT forgiven this dude because wtf?).
I just wish girls are given better tools to stick up for ourselves when we are young, you know? Usually I doubt myself and my version of events a lot, but this time I am 100% sure that this guy out of nowhere started shit with me, and rather than telling him what’s up, I just held the door for him. Smh. So unsatisfying.