This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/thestarsburnbright on 2023-08-13 11:23:09.
I just need to vent a little because my feelings about this whole ordeal either gets disregarded, questioned, or I’d get an advise I didn’t necessarily ask for.
FYI, I’ve gotten better at spotting men who are only interested in sex only to ghost you after it’s been given. Sometimes it would take a while for me to figure out what their genuine objectives with me were, but I’m pleased I was able to end things before I’d done something I’d be ashamed of. For instance, I recently met up with someone who was eager to play the long game (we communicated via texts and voice calls before officially meeting in-person) until I made it apparent that he wasn’t going to get anything from me, sexually. Unsurprisingly, I was unmatched on OkCupid and blocked on IG.
Someone told me that I should have recognized the red flags earlier on since “they would have if they were me”. Like haha yes, I get it’s my fault that I let my vulnerability get the best of me. I’m only human. I can’t always get things right. If I were to assess every interaction as an underlying motive to sleep with me then you’re not going to get the best experience in talking with me. And I might miss out on a protentional long-term relationship if every attractive sentence that comes out of their mouth is “suspicious”.
Did it hurt? Yes. But that was besides the point. The point I tried to make with that someone is that none of us should have to go through great lengths whenever the deceiver gets better at deceiving. I also think it’s unfair that we have to exert so much effort to weed them out when the only way to truly know is when that deceiver decides to be honest about his intentions.
And most importantly, why try to get someone who’s interested in something serious to sleep with you when you can find someone who’s interested in the same things you are? Like that requires zero manipulation. Do these guys not realize that they are essentially depriving the other party of making any sound decision especially when the woman you’ve chosen to manipulate could have just recently entered the dating scene with little to no knowledge of how it works?
It may be legally permissible but as whole it is an immoral and reprehensible behavior to string someone along under false pretenses.
It’s hard being a woman in the dating pool, because I feel like bit-by-bit we’re essentially stripped out of our ability to make any proper choices that would protect us or wouldn’t be detrimental to our mental health when so much of the dating scene is rooted with lies in correlation to hookup culture. And in the end, we’re blamed for not recognizing the red flags.