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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/lost_lost7 on 2023-08-13 01:44:32.

TW:Suicide

This happened a few days ago and it’s a cruel twisted irony that I made this reddit asking how hard I should push him to go back to work. My last post was about how we were going to lose our place because my husband Scott couldn’t recover after a woman stepped in front of his semi 7ish months ago. I said it was like she took him with her. Now he is actually gone and it’s not even the same. Before I get some assholes asking “why are you posting right now?”. I don’t know what to do. I notified his family.

After my last post I pushed him to try to get his job back and they took him back with open arms which was a huge blessing and surprise. When I called his boss yesterday to tell him my husband wouldn’t be coming back , he told me that the company would pay for his funeral. He had been with them for nearly 10 years before he abruptly quit the day of the accident. He needed therapy and time off but thought the best thing, the “easiest” thing would be to quit and try and handle it alone. If you have people in your corner and if you have resources available to you, please use them.

Did you know if someone unalives themselves in your house you are responsible for cleanup? If you are renting and don’t have renters insurance, it’s on you. I’m 8 months pregnant and I’m being induced next week and I can’t even go inside my house. I contacted the church we had been to on and off, where we got married, and suicide is a sin so no help there. I think I was too hard on him in the last few weeks. I had let the stress build up and didn’t tell him how bad things were until it was too late. He thought “Oh she can handle it like she always does”. We have to stop thinking like that. And be “we” I mean anyone who is reading this because I’m sure you do it too.

I brought up adoption because who would choose to bring a child into this world being poor? That is what a lot of comments told me and they were right. I’m being induced next week and I don’t even have a clean environment to bring a baby back to. It’s the last piece of my husband and I don’t know if I deserve to raise him. I know I might have seemed like an asshole about my husband (I was/am just stressed) but he was a good man who deserved to be a father and he deserved to be here. He just didn’t see that and I think I’ll have a broken heart for the rest of my life.

If anyone is in my area who wants to sit on the curb and drink lukewarm bottle water with a stranger, my dm’s are open.

If you are struggling, please get help. You are not weak or less than. Mental health is so important and serious. Please.