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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/DifferenceTerri10 on 2023-08-12 19:48:03.
I (34M) have a 10 year old daughter with my ex girlfriend named Aubrey (34F). Me and Aubrey were never married and split 8 years ago whenever Claire was 1.5 years old.
We have split custody and trade each Sunday. Just to provide context me and Aubrey dated for 2 years before she got pregnant. We decided move in together but had very different lifestyle ideas. Since we started dating she talked about being a stay at home mom. I told her countless times I didn’t want 1 income. Whenever our daughter was born we started fighting about her going back to nursing. She refused and said she didn’t want to work. Eventually we split up after her saying that I “wasn’t mature enough” to handle a family. But overall we do co parent well. Like we do family dinners on Sundays and go on trips together. Hell we even help each other with babysitting, sports teams travel and shopping. We do a great job together and I think our daughter appreciates us being on each others team so much. I’d consider us good friends. She started dating someone a few months after we split and I met him whenever they moved in together. They dated for a few years and got engaged but have since separated and I was the one who helped her move out. Just trying to explain we are very good with each other typically.
The last 2 weeks aubrey has been staying in my guest room. Her house was getting some updates done and she asked to stay with me (she’s no longer with her finance so she bought a new place). I let her and she told me to act like she wasn’t there and just do my thing. It was also more time with my daughter so I saw no issue with it. My bedroom is attached to the back deck of my house. On Thursday I had a lady friend come over around 11 and stay the night and leave by 7. I’ve done this countless times with my daughter home and she’s never woken up. This lady friend specifically has been over multiple times the last few months. She’s a nurse at the same hospital as Aubrey so she works odd hours so this is normal.
I took Claire to a camp Friday morning and whenever I got home aubrey was fuming. She said she heard my guest come in last night and was disgusted. Saying that I needed to set a better example for my daughter and how dangerous it was to sneak random people in my house. I said she needed to check herself. As she is a guest and has no say of what I do in my home. She said other things that I can’t remember as I was starting to tune her out but finally said something about it being bad for my daughter. I said “you know what’s probably not good for Claire. You moving her in with random dudes and then breaking up. I’m not moving her home anywhere like you have. I simply have guest over and she’s never once noticed. So fuck right off with that.”.
Aubrey then said something about how I needed to grow up. Aubrey and me have been staying away from each other. And I’m thinking about asking her to get a hotel room as I’m done with her shit about this. I’m a grown ass man and can do what I want. AITA?