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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/OMGwhytherage on 2023-08-12 20:37:03.

I’ve recently started seeing a guy who was very upfront that he loves lingerie. I thought “no problem” since half the time im wearing a lace thong and bra set anyways, basically just because I got lucky and found a few cute ones that are also super comfortable and give me support throughout the day. The issue is he’s started pushing for more obvious lingerie, think garter belts, stockings, crotchless body suits, etc., and has even mentioned that he’d want to pick out what I’d wear to come over. THIS is an issue for me, because at that point it becomes obvious that he doesn’t want me to wear it because he thinks I feel sexy in it, but because it’ll help him get off regardless of what I want/like. I’m also a woman who’s lived my life dictated by what I wanted, not what my partner wants, which is why I’ve always been most happen when I’m single and doing whatever the hell I want.

He brought up the lingerie thing again recently, and while I’ve been trying to find something that I’d want and use outside of sex with him, I haven’t found anything we’d both like, and the idea of spending my money on an outfit I don’t want or like to wear during sex with one person so he can find me marginally more attractive sounds fucking stupid, and a waste of my time & resources. I haven’t found a kind way to say this to him yet, and if I talk to my friends about it they’ll just roast him and say he needs to fuck off. How do I deal with this without absolutely tearing his kink/idea to shreds?

TLDR; new boyfriend wants me to buy and wear lingerie just for him and I don’t know how to tell him why I think it’s misogynistic & sexist that he’s asking that of me.