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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Luffynarutofan on 2023-08-12 18:17:00.
Married man here! 30 years of age. Been married 6 months now. It’s great. However, I have a question about female sexuality and sex in a long term relationship versus a casual one.
My wife and I talk about everything. When I say everything… I mean everything! Lol. I love our openness, and that is something that helps us build trust.
We have talked about our sexual past, and I noticed one thing about it. In the past, with other partners, she has taken initiative sexually. Meaning… she was the one who initiated the sex with all her partners. I’ll give some examples.
She said that she met a guy before and she knew she wanted to have sex with him. So, she got to know him, invited herself over, and had sex with him at his house. She then decided to make him a friends with benefits, so she set that up as well, and she would call him when she wanted sex and have him come over.
For another guy she was with, she created a strictly sexual relationship with him. She said that when she was in the mood, she would set everything up. Then, when he would come over, she would tell the guy directly exactly what she wanted sexually, how to get her off, what she needed and once the mission was accomplished, she would send him home until she needed to get off again.
Those are just some examples, but a lot of the guys she was with in the past, that is how she operated sexually. With me, it’s entirely different.
When we have sex, I’m the one who initiates. She does sometimes, but it’s not as direct as she was with the other guys I mentioned in the example. When I asked her about this, she says she views me differently.
She says that I’m a go-getter, a man who is about his business, goes after what he wants, ambitious, gets things done, and says what he means. She said the men she dealt with in the past, she felt like she had to control everything because they weren’t capable. So, when I initiate sex and direct it, it turns her on.
I’m just wondering from a female perspective, is there truth in this? I’m not saying she is lying. I can tell she means it, but I am just trying to understand this from a woman’s perspective. Do women switch up the way they have sex depending on the man and how much respect she has for him?