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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/GirlTalkThrowRA on 2023-08-12 16:10:22.


I (F30) have been working in my current role for a little over a year, and I absolutely love it. The only thing is that, until now, I have been the only female in the entire office (not just my team, as in, every single colleague is a man). I really don’t mind, I like my coworkers and, unlike other workplaces, I have never had a single issue with an inappropriate comment or something similar.

Recently, a new hire started. She (F25-30?) works outside of my team, but is part of a team I work with regularly so we have interacted a couple of times. Then we chatted during a company dinner, and she now seeks me out during lunch. I have no issue with this, she is friendly and I think she finds me more approachable than her team members. So far the conversations have all been general chit chat, nothing too serious but also not super work focused as I don’t want to talk shop at lunch.

Last week, as usual, she came and found me at my desk asking if I wanted to go grab something to eat. She then suggested we go to a sit-down place rather than bring food back to the office. Fine by me. At the cafe, she straight-up asked me who the “issue men” were at work. I was a bit confused, so she clarified asking who was creepy/should be avoided.

I was a bit surprised but honestly told her that everyone has always been friendly and kind, and that I have not experienced anything like that at this company. She seemed like she didn’t believe me, and kept pressing but I kept saying more of the same.

On Friday, as I was packing up, the new hire asked if we could walk to the elevator together. During the trip down she said she was very disappointed that I wasn’t sharing names with her so she could protect herself from creeps. She said now she didn’t know who to avoid, all because I wasn’t a girls’ girl.

I tried to tell her again that it really wasn’t like that, but she wouldn’t have it and said that I clearly was more interested in protecting the boys club instead of being friend.

Now I am not sure if something has happened, but AITA for the way I handled it? Maybe she expected something different.