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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Far-Cauliflower7435 on 2023-08-11 21:38:07.
I’m from an ethnicity that loves hot, spicy food. My dad in particular grows his own peppers because he can’t find any that are hot enough locally. I can’t eat what he prepares for himself.
My husband and I are attending a potluck with a group of his friends this weekend. He asked me to make our contribution to the potluck and to please make something from my country.
No problem. I like cooking and I asked my mom to help. We had fun. My sister also pitched in. I made lots so that there was food for us for tonight and food for the potluck tomorrow. We made two batches. One was about as spicy as buffalo wings, the other was much hotter.
My husband came home and we all sat down to eat. My husband can keep up with my dad when it comes to spicy food. It’s hilarious watching a Swede from Minnesota sweating in the middle of winter just from a little spice.
My dad wanted seconds and he went to get some but he served himself from the less spicy crock pot.
He asked me why I made white people food for dinner. My husband understood the question and asked about it. I answered honestly that I have had bad experiences with people eating food that I took to share. So I always made two versions. One is fully as authentic as I can make it. The other version is white people food. It is tasty and exotic but definitely a trade off. For example I will use chicken instead of goat for the protein. And I will use 1/4 - 1/6 the amount of spice.
My sister laughed and said I was being racist by assuming they wouldn’t be able to handle my cooking. I said that she had never taken ethnic food to trade in school or at work. She grew up here and has never considered herself anything but American.
I think I’m being considerate and not racist making two versions.