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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Hot_Cup_1271 on 2023-08-11 10:01:34.

I (24f) have been with my boyfriend “Jack” (25m) for 2 years. We have been living together for just over a year.

I have always been fond of cooking and usually make a lot of Asian dishes as I grew up eating a lot of them. So as a result I do use soy sauce and sometimes some msg. However when I got together with my bf he has mentioned how he is very allergic to soy, so I had to be extra careful what I make. He has also mentioned how his parents dismissed his allergy and we had a long discussion about his allergies. I take allergies seriously due to an incident with a family member a few years ago, so when we moved in together I ended up purchasing an entire new cooking set to make sure there’s no cross contamination.

Last week we went to see his family as they invited us over to their place. I have met them before and we had lunch together at a local restaurant, however we haven’t visited them due to how far they live.

During the visit Jack went to pick up his brother from a gig (our car is 2 seater), so I was there with his mother “Annie” while she was making a BBQ. At some point I saw her adding a lot of soy sauce to the marinade for all the meat and said she can’t do that as Jack is allergic to soy sauce, meaning he won’t be able to eat it. Annie said not to worry and that Jack loves this marinada and she already made the first bunch. I have reminded her again that Jack can not eat it as it is not safe for him, in short we ended up in an argument until Jack came back. When Jack returned he was confused why am I arguing with his mother and ate one of the glazed wings in the marinade. I was shocked and tried to tell him they have soy, but he said do not worry as they are very tasty and he is fine. I have asked about the allergies and he said he didn’t have any and just doesn’t always like it in his food as sometimes food tastes very salty with it. Now his entire family are calling me a controlling asshole and demand a proper apology to Annie for “insulting her cooking”. I have apologised and said this happened due to what Jack said, but they are not having any of it.