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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/_ladykryptonite on 2023-08-10 22:46:04.
I 33f have known Cara 33f since 1995. She’s always been a bigger girl & I’ve stuck up for her all throughout elementary school & middle school before I had to move. We lost connection back in 2009 & reunited in 2015. I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship & had gained a massive amount of weight.
I started getting serious in 2020, I got a personal trainer and started learning about health and fitness. I have hypothyroidism & pcos so the weight was harder to lose and took much longer. Cara would do the fad diets and quit them as soon as she started them. She’s 5ft9 and almost 400lbs. So about mid- Spring I reached my goal & had lost over 50 pounds. I’m 5ft8 & started at 220. I still had a spare tire but other than that it was a dramatic difference. My dating life turned around. People were just nicer to me in general. I had a better mood & was doing better at work.
The trouble started when I started inviting Cara to go to the gym with me because she wanted to get fit before her wedding this Fall. If she was the one driving to the gym, I would only have to expect a 35 minute workout which was about almost a quarter of the time I would usually spend. I’ve taken myself back to the gym after she’d drive us home to get my car. She would always be so angry as to why I wanted more time at the gym. When we’d get back to her place she would order a pizza & would get mad when I wouldn’t eat food with her. I’d explain that I’m not spending all this money on an endocrinologist just to ignore the diet they set up for me. We finally agreed that I could bring my own food & we would go work out in separate cars that way she wouldn’t be stuck waiting for me, and I could get my workout in.
It finally reached a boiling point last week. We decided to meet at her house to go to the gym and she was in a foul mood when I got there. Apparently she went to the doctor and he told her that she had gained 15 pounds within the last 2 months. I put my salad in her fridge and turned around to her staring at me with her arms folded. I asked what was up and she started crying and saying that I had an eating disorder and that it’s changed the dynamic of our relationship. I’m going to have to go back in to get my bridesmaid dress tailored and now I’m too self absorbed and obsessed with my weight to watch tv with her. She went on and on about how disgusting my body must look with an eating disorder with my loose skin. After she said that I just quietly said “and you think that you don’t have an eating disorder?” That’s when she blew up on me, calling me fatphobic and how she’s probably the healthiest person in the house. Her sister and brother are also very obese as well. They came out and only heard her side of the argument mostly because she wouldn’t let me get a word in to explain. She told me she didn’t want me in her wedding unless I apologized and gained 15 pounds. Reddit AITA?