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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/mov5029 on 2023-08-10 22:48:43.
I(26F) work at a warehouse with about 90% men. I’m picky when it comes to who I talk to when I’m at work bc I spent my early 20s with a covert narcissist that was decades older than me and an absolute energy vampire, so I don’t really trust men.
I befriended this guy(31M) that trained me at work. I could tell he initially had a small crush on me but was respectful and never made a move. We built rapport and always looked out for each other. Everything was fine until he made a comment to another coworker(22F) and I that left a bad taste in my mouth.
For some context: he was trying to warn us about a guy at work that my coworker is actually attracted to and he saw us having a conversation with. He said something along the lines “you guys are smart right? I’d like to think so. If you’re smart you would know that guy is just trying to f*ck”. I got offended but didn’t say anything in the moment because we were with one more person and I wanted to carefully choose my words after noticing he can take things very personally.
I texted him as soon as I got a chance to and let him know that while I understand where he was coming from, I didn’t appreciate the way he spoke to us. I told him I’m letting him know how what he said made me feel because I value our friendship and would hate for it to become hostile or resentful. He apologized and said it won’t happen again, then immediately proceeded to say he’s now uncomfortable and basically will keep to himself from now on.
We all had plans to go to breakfast tomorrow and he’s now making it weird saying he doesn’t wanna go anymore. I stopped replying because, at this point, I don’t really care that much lol. I’m just not sure how to proceed from here given that we work closely and have the same friends at work.
I’m a recovering people pleaser and setting all types of boundaries at work have definitely helped with feeling more secure within myself. Any advice or words of encouragement would help! TIA! 🙏🏼