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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Ok_Skill_1195 on 2023-08-10 17:25:32.
This is a topic I have seen come up repeatedly, but a highly upvoted comment on a thread yesterday really rubbed me the wrong way
I am personally not someone for whom aesthetics matter that much. There are almost no shared physical characteristics between the men I’ve been with. It’s just not a high priority for me. That’s how my sexuality works.
That said, there are many people who are going to find certain characteristics attractive and others to be a turn off. AND THAT IS OK. should it be the biggest priority for a long term committed relationship? No. But you are not shallow and you are not childish for wanting to be physically attracted to your partner, and for MANY people that is going to follow some general patterns
It’s really sad to see this subreddit police women’s sexuality in this way and perpetuate the idea there is something wrong with us for not wanting “give a chance” to the guy who just doesn’t do it for us.
Your attraction, or lack thereof, is valid. while it might not be the nicest in terms of values, the reality is looks and whether you find someone attractive does factor into most people’s sexuality, and women should not be encouraged to ignore their sexual response when choosing partners.
Not everyone is demisexual, not everyone can just fully look past the physical 100%, and that’s ok and normal. Do not let anyone including those in this community tell you there is something wrong with you for having self awareness for what your preferences are and honoring your physiological responses to different potential partners. If he doesn’t do it for you, he doesn’t do it for you.