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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/North_2022 on 2023-08-10 17:20:44.
A friend of mine (35M) told me he matched with an 18F, and they’ve been texting for a while. He’d like to meet up with her.
He asked me about my opinion on age gaps. I think it depends a lot on the age; 15-30 is way different than 30-45 for example. When he told me about his current match I told him that in my opinion this is not appropriate and gave the following arguments:
• Her prefrontal cortex isn’t fully grown until 25. Late teens and early twenties is an age bracket that isn’t known for top tier decision-making. People are more prone to peer pressure and manipulation. • Different life phases. She lives at home, has yet to go to uni. He’s been working for over 10 years. What do they even have in common? • He’d be in a position with more power, since he’s almost twice her age. Even if he doesn’t have bad intentions, he could still unintentionally damage her because of these power dynamics.
I also asked him why he’d set 18 as the lower age limit. He said that while he doesn’t have high expectations of 18 year olds being the right match for him, there could always be an “outlier”. So he could potentially miss out on the love of his life if he sets another age limit.
He also kept saying how he doesn’t have bad intentions and isn’t a predator. And an 18 year old could always have a bad experience with someone that’s her own age too. And of course he brought up the “she’s 18, so an adult” crap.
I find it appalling and really want to change his mind. Or at least make him stop from moving forward with this, even if he doesn’t fully understand why.
Do you have any suggestions on what more I could say?