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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/FlowerBlankets on 2023-08-10 14:13:01.
I’m really bummed and just need to vent about this crappy situation.
I am working on my Masters and teamed up with a classmate for the final thesis project. He (28M) and I (30F) have worked together on many previous projects for our program and I consider(ed) him one of my closer friends in the class.
However, last Saturday at our classmate’s birthday party, he tried to kiss me. Twice. Without consent. He was extremely drunk and was very touchy all night. I was only drinking lightly so I had more awareness of the situation. I (gently) pushed him off both times and tried to stay away from him, but he kept following me. I left the party early and he texted me later to apologize, meaning he was at least aware of what he did and had memory of the situation.
I have to continue working with him and to be honest, I feel like he has put me in a very unfair position. Also, he has a girlfriend! And I’m casually dating someone- I reminded him of this after the second try for a kiss. I am pretending to ignore what happened and it hasn’t been too awkward, but I feel like I need to be extra vigilant to make sure it doesn’t happen again (which is dumb as he shouldn’t have done it in the first place!)
I keep blaming myself, like perhaps I was too flirty or I dressed in a certain way- I have to tell myself that it wasn’t my fault. I think as women, we tend to remove blame from the other party because that’s how we were raised (or at least I was, I’m hoping it’s changing for future generations).
Anyways, like I said, I just wanted to vent. I don’t plan on telling my thesis tutor unless it happens again. I really don’t want to ruin this very important project! We work well together and I’m proud of our project- just have to get through these last 6 weeks…