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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Disastrous-Quit-5674 on 2023-08-10 13:39:08.
My family have allergies, one night where the don’t have to worry and can eat everything is great
I am so frustrated, I host big dinner parties once a season. The whole family comes down and it is usually a great time. My brother is now married and he bring his wife along. I’m not besties with her, we are just polite to each other.
Now the first invite she asked what she should bring and I told her nothing, just show up and have a good time. Well she brought food. I thought she was just being polite and I reiterate to not bring food since if throws off the menu I made and I don’t know what’s in it and some relatives have allergies. You would think problem was solved, nope. Next time she brought more food. I told her again to not bring anything and if she really wants to bring a hostess gift bring wine. We had our summer dinner and before that she asked what’s wines would be good for dinner. I told her a white wine and told her again she doesn’t have to bring anything just being here is a great. Please don’t bring food. I assumed she would bring wine which would be fine.
She shows up with cornbread. I was so done at this point that when she was with the others I threw it away and just moved on with the night. She noticed the cornbread wasn’t served and confronted me later in the night. I told her I threw it away and she got mad at me. We got into an argument about how I should be grateful I am helping her out and me asking if she can’t listen, since children can do it but apparently she can’t. She called me a jerk and my brother is mad at me.
I don’t get why I should be grateful since she is causing that problem and fucking up my menu.