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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Formal-Morning-324 on 2023-08-09 05:32:00.
Today I (35) went over to my parents house to drop something off, but instead got a bomb dropped on me. My mom informed me that I am the sole beneficiary of their funds/estate because my (32) autistic sister doesn’t understand the concept of money, which also includes inheriting my mom’s POA over my sister. They have always played around with the idea and *assumed* that I would take care of her when they pass which I have always replied no cuz I have my own life to live, but now it’s a real thing that’s happening, and I am freaking out.
They tried guilting me into it saying “well if you don’t want to, we have to change ALL of our paperwork then.” Instead they would give me half and her half. They said I can decide what to do with her, if I would have her move in with me or get her-her own apartment. Which she cannot do, she doesn’t even know/make her own mac & cheese, and has to be routinely reminded to take showers. They did not set her up for independent living whatsoever. She also has an anger/temperamental issues that they never addressed/worked with, like for instance if she hasn’t taken a shower all week and remind her to do so she can throw a tantrum about it cuz she doesn’t want to. She also puts way too much trust into people, and doesn’t understand there’s “bad people” and would get taken advantage of, or worse.
I mentioned/reiterated that I am in a stable long-term relationship and what if we were to get married or if I were to move out of state or elsewhere, what happens then? Or what if I do decide to have a kid, how is this all going to work??? They mentioned my aunt is willing to take her in but, realistically she’s not gonna outlive me either. My mom said well it’s just gonna have to fall on someone in the family. They do not have a will in place either. I am kinda flustered/upset/anxious now about it all, and not sure where to go from here.
I don’t know if I need to lawyer up or who I am supposed to talk to cuz this is just out of the blue and I am so mad at them for throwing it all on my shoulders instead of being the actual parent and have something situated for her, which I did ask "why is this all my decision, why do I have to chose all this, to which my mom said she’s your sister, and I shot back well YOU’RE her parents, you should have prepared for this whole situation a long time ago. AITA???