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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/OtterlyDawn on 2023-08-09 07:54:37.
Yknow that scene in Barbie where they talk about men saying “let me help you” when women are trying to learn something. Yeah. I have that.
I took up archery about 8 weeks ago. Did a course, got my kit, joined a friendly, local club. It’s about 70/30 men:women ratio. Day 3 they teach you archery etiquette. Big rule is don’t offer unsolicited advice.
Well, that only applies if the archer is a man because EVERY session without fail I have had a man come up to me while I’m shooting, stare at me, “watching my form”, providing advice. They’ve touched me without asking, on my face, my back, my arms, “helping” me. I had one man encircle me with his arms or making me stand against him.
The beginner men get to go up and shoot their arrows in peace. If they have a question, like we were told to do, they can approach a senior archer and be helped.
I just really want to have one session where I can just do my hobby and enjoy it. I do want to get better but I also want to have fun. And being stared at, critiqued and corrected constantly is pissing me off. I can’t say anything because “they’re only trying to help” and at some point I probably will have questions and I know they’re trying to be friendly, so I don’t want to alienate myself whilst I’m new. The other new lady that started comes with her bf so she gets to shoot in peace ofc. Btw I’m mid thirties not conventionally attractive aka usually invisible to men. I’ve made a few comments like “ah I’m just wanting to relax today” or “I want to do my own thing today”. But I’ve been disturbed every time as someone else wanders over. It’s getting to the point I’m not looking forward to going anymore.
Btw I think im about as good as every other beginner I’m not wildly missing or dangerous. im averaging 7.8 (out of 10) There’s a beginner man who’s in the grass 50% of the time getting zero unsolicited advice.