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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/bean-jee on 2023-08-08 17:19:10.

im a 23 yr old woman in a long term het relationship and im having some serious BC issues. i feel like i’ve tried everything, including IUDs, with terrible results, particularly when it comes to hormonal BC. im getting increasingly frustrated and pissed off with how shitty, painful, and downright inhumane our fucking options are.

im reconsidering an IUD, but copper this time, so id appreciate anyone who has experience with copper IUDs’ advice as well as anyone who has ideas for non-hormonal BC. TLDR at bottom. here’s what ive tried, for context:

  • the pill; currently on it, desperately want to get off of it. the clot risk terrifies me (all hormonal BC scares me for that reason), and it’s been giving me some SERIOUS depressive episodes and suicidal ideation every single month. it’s becoming genuinely hard to live with. i have full on mental breakdowns. i also suspect that it’s causing chronic yeast infections. there’s no other explanation for the infections, and ive heard that it can cause them/make you more susceptible to them.

-condoms; have and will use them in a pinch, but they’re pretty painful for me, as i struggle with some minor vaginal atrophy. lube helps, but also seems to cause irritation/infections in and of itself. i also hate the way lube feels. my partner isn’t much of a fan of condoms and lube himself, though he’ll also use them if he has to with no complaint, ofc.

-the patch; have used it, it gave me a rash and fell off prematurely, and ofc it’s hormonal, AND it’s got a worryingly high failure rate.

-the implant; haven’t tried it and absolutely refuse to. not only is it hormonal, but it has been known to cause migraines and i already have chronic, debilitating migraines. i knew someone who got it implanted who didn’t have chronic migraines and immediately following implantation, they were disabled with one that lasted almost 3 days. no fucking thanks.

-the shot; haven’t tried, i feel like it’s really not a great option. i don’t have a car, therefore don’t have reliable transportation to get it regularly; and again, it’s hormonal, and im worried that ill have the same issues with depressive episodes, mood swings, and suicidal ideation as i do right now with the pill.

finally… IUD. i got the mirena IUD almost 2 years ago, and had to promptly remove it less than 6 months later. not only did planned parenthood claim that it “barely hurt,” neglect to warn me to take NSAIDs beforehand, and neglect to offer any other kind of pain management, but the fucking thing gave me 5+ infections, most of which id never had before or since and i bled and cramped for almost the entire 6 months it was in. when they implanted it i blacked out from the pain, and the pain afterwards was so severe i started vomiting and it wouldn’t stop for 4+ hrs after implantation. I couldn’t keep down food, water, or any kind of OTC pain medication. not even zofran helped. the IUD then gave me BV (never had before or since), the “worst yeast infection they’d ever seen” (which came back twice after being treated and did not stop coming back until i made them remove the IUD), and a UTI (also never had before or since) that i suffered with for 3 months before they finally treated it. and even after all of that, they fucking gaslit me and argued with me when i asked them to remove the IUD and insinuated that i was unclean and that was the reason for these terrible infections, and it wasn’t the IUD. surpise surprise, when they removed it, i stopped having issues.

TLDR: ive tried most hormonal BCs and have decided that they’re very detrimental to my health, causing infections and mental distress, and non-hormonal options are hard to come by. im reconsidering a non-hormonal copper IUD, but am understandably terrified of a repeat of my last experience with the mirena IUD. does anyone have any experience with copper IUDs or have any other suggestions of safe, effective non-hormonal BC?