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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/leafonthewind006 on 2023-08-07 23:41:20.
I had one last week, wanted to share, and hear yours too!
I work in a male-dominated office and the majority of my colleagues have not overstepped their boundaries; if they do, I don’t generally classify them as Work Friend and they just stay Someone I Run into Once in a While, if that makes sense. I have more of the former than I do the latter, so I feel like I’ve done a good job setting boundaries. One was almost a Work Friend last year and then I got bad vibes from him. Stopped talking to him aside from pleasantries in the break room, etc. I would often leave quickly if he was there. You know, the ghosting method. It worked.
Last week, there were a few small company hangouts with Almost Work Friend and also lots of other people. I’m now into the “we’re past it, it’s been several months” phase and I also don’t want to leave so quickly because these are also my coworkers at the end of the day. So I stuck around and had a great time bonding with my coworkers.
Apparently being in a group and talking about group things is way too friendly because I got a negging text from about one of my tattoos, which we all briefly talked about for maybe a minute.
I left it alone for a night and was just mad the next day. So after some debating of if I was being too mean (you know the one), should I just ghost, and being concerned about running into him the next week (again, after having done nothing wrong), I had a “No! Fuck this guy!” moment and I sent back, “Hey I would really prefer if you didn’t text me. Thanks.”
AND IT FELT SO GOOD. It really feels like I handed over any discomfort I had to him, which he SHOULD feel as he was the one to cause it. I just had to tell someone.