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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Awkward_Mixture3084 on 2023-08-07 23:52:14.

November will mark the ten year anniversary since my paternal grandfather was arrested and put into jail for harming me and my siblings. He even died halfway through his jail time so we never had to deal with him outside of court. The day he died took such a weight off my chest and we celebrated.

It was, and still is for some of my family members, a rough road of healing from all this. My parents believed my youngest sibling when they revealed what he had done and got a restraining order placed that very night. Despite being his son, my father fought him from the beginning with everything he had. Even when his own mother told him to drop it because she would lose alimony from the bastard. Even when our church told us not to press charges and be forgiving. They and my maternal grandpa protected us once the danger was known.

I dealt with massive survivors guilt for a long time during healing due to not feeling like I did enough in protecting my siblings. I was the oldest who was unable to verbalize what happened to me, but I was only 9 when he did what he did. I was always warned of strangers doing that to my body, but never told what to do if it’s someone you know and are supposed to able to trust. I was silenced by his excuses and my own ignorance because I trusted his word. That should have never been done to my body especially by someone who was supposed to be my grandfather.

I thankfully had my Papa step up as all of the grandparents we ever needed. My only living grandmother has proven over and over again that she means nothing to us and I’m fine with that. I’d rather have the memories of my great grandmother who was there for us when she was alive than anything to do with that woman. She made my father’s life a living hell before all this came out and her regard for us was the final straw in my parents decision to cut ties with her. I am thankful that my youngest siblings never have to know that she only cared about herself when my parents told her what her ex husband did. She wants to be alone and that’s how she’ll be til she dies.

My mom’s mother died before I was born so our great grandmother was the only one in my life. My mom has been the best role-model I could ask for so I’ve never felt like I’ve missed out. She has been the rock in all of this and I’m so grateful to have her in my life.

For once I don’t feel this dread for the end of the year. I usually am in a minor depressive state from October-December, but now I feel excited to this time of the year. I wanna celebrate all that me and my family went through instead of feeling only negative feelings. There will always be ups and downs when it comes to trauma, but I think we all deserve to celebrate this year. We made it through that hell and are all still here. That is worthy of a major celebration in my opinion. Things do get better with hard work and a strong support system. I just wanna share this story so others know it can get better. My immediate family didn’t get any outside help from the rest of the family, but that didn’t stop us from getting support elsewhere. Friends and professional help made all the difference for us.

Even though this is a dark topic I thought it was worth sharing because I feel so excited to celebrate this milestone. Here’s to ten years of healing!!!