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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Day-Atmosphere344 on 2023-08-07 21:00:26.
My (30F) boyfriend (35M) has 2 friends who live in another state, let’s call them Jack and Liz. They want to come visit us in our state with their 4 children, ages ranging from 5-10. I live in the downtown area of our city while my boyfriend lives about 1 hour away in the suburbs. My house is close to where I go to school full-time (about a 5 minute walk) and also close to where I work (10 minute walk to my first job, 10 minute drive to my second job). I live with my 3 dogs and because of my busy schedule, I have a dog walker come everyday to feed and care for them.
When Jack and Liz come to visit with their kids, they are asking to stay at my house. Here’s the thing though, they want me to leave my house so that their family can stay there with complete privacy. I think it is also worth noting that I have never met or spoken to Jack and Liz before (they are my boyfriend’s friends and not mine). Also, they are originally from our city, so they have their parents and family members who still live here. They seem pretty wealthy mostly because they tell my boyfriend that they are. Liz is a SAHM and has never worked before because Jack has had multiple inheritances from deceased family members and he brags about his high-paying job. They also own about 10 rental properties that they collect passive income from (believe they bought these houses with the inheritances). Before meeting Jack, Liz also did not work because her family is wealthy and supported her.
The thing is, my commute to work and school (I have one or both 7 days a week) is over an hour each way from my boyfriend’s house in the suburbs. I already have such long days that changing my commute to be 2+ hours a day, even for a week, is giving me anxiety with all of the stuff I have going on between work and school. Also, I don’t have anyone to walk my dogs at my boyfriend’s house and even if I were to hire a dog walker, he doesn’t want a stranger having access to enter his house. Finally, it would just be really uncomfortable to have to leave my own home and I am also nervous about having young children running around my house when I am not there and my home is not child proofed.
So, AITA? My boyfriend seems disappointed in me because I am not opening my home to his friends and I am already making a bad impression on them. He also thinks that I am doing this because I am deciding to not like them based on what I know about them (just what I’ve heard from him). Stuff like they are always asking to use my streaming logins but keep logging me out, when their dogs get old they abandon them at shelters so they can make room for new puppies…I do think that this kind of stuff bothers me BUT I think that even if it were my own friends making this housing request of me, I would tell them to get a hotel or stay at their parent’s houses.
Edit to add: my boyfriend lost both his parents young (when he was 16 and 22) and he doesn’t have siblings or much extended family. He considers his friends from high school as his family. I am trying to be sensitive to his situation, because essentially he thinks that I should be more accommodating to his friends, since they are his family.