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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/loornickl3 on 2023-08-07 18:22:11.

I’m getting married later this year and throwing a reception next spring. This past weekend at my bridal shower I mentioned to my friend and her mom I would be inviting their family to my reception. I said this as I have not seen them since my engagement and wanted them to know they were included in my plans since I’ve known them for so long (I’ve known my friend since high school) and they helped plan my shower.

Now a few days later, my friend texted me asking to invite her boyfriend to my reception instead of her dad. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that as we were not giving plus 1s and are strict about not inviting anyone that we both don’t know. She argued with me and I said it wouldn’t be fair considering I turned down some of my fiancés long term friends because I’ve never met them. She kept insisting so I flat out said “im sorry but its not happening. i only want our closest people at this party and im sticking to it.” now she’s mad at me.

I feel I should include; I have never met this boyfriend and barely know his name. She used the excuse that this would give me time to get to know him, as she doesn’t want to travel here (3 hours away) unless its a holiday/event. this makes no sense to me as they regularly go on vacations and she comes around monthly without being bothered to stop by to see me or hang out. and I won’t be able to spend a significant time with anyone at the party, such as weddings go. she will also know a good amount of other people, so I’m not worried about her having no one to talk to. Also, I don’t approve of said boyfriend. He’s significantly older than my friend and the way he handles conflict in their relationship shows me theres a reason women his own age don’t want him. another part of me would feel really horrible inviting her household (mom, moms bf and dad) and leaving out her dad, hence why I planned to invite them.

AITA??

EDIT: my fiancé and i agreed upon these rules and have been firm about it. we discuss people that aren’t a clear invite and make those decisions together. I am not forcing him to leave anyone out. those specific people are a case where he asked them to make plans and their respond was cold and they couldn’t be bothered.