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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/limegreenpaint on 2023-08-06 17:51:56.
The only people who care IRL are already aware, and I can’t go up there and it’s driving me crazy. I already feel like I have to explain why I’m so angry in addition to talking about what’s going on, which is objectively horrible. Medical gaslighting. Most of us are familiar, and my mom might die because of this shit.
My mom is in the hospital with multiple liver and gallbladder masses and had to suffer progressively (and rapidly) worse over the past two weeks before going to the ER at 5:30am today (the fact that she let herself be admitted speaks volumes…she HATES doctors, and this shit is why), because the new doctor she went to didn’t do a liver enzyme test before prescribing two meds that elevate and marinate the liver in toxic enzymes. My mom has some liver scarring from a past illness. They knew. It was in her records.
If they’d tested her blood, she would have still learned there was something wrong without being made to suffer due to “procedure” that they clearly didn’t even give a shit about, because THEY didn’t follow procedure.
All she wanted was someone to scan her gallbladder and adrenal glands, because the former has been giving her pain with active stones for years, and the latter because two years ago, a shitty university hospital scanned for something (she hasn’t told me what, and I didn’t ask because of the next bit of info), saw a mass on her adrenal gland, and IGNORED IT (for TWO YEARS, jesus fuck I want to eviscerate those assholes), because it “wasn’t what [they] were looking for.” A potential pheochromocytoma, and they just… pushed it aside. She didn’t tell me about it until about a month ago because she knew I would come up there and give them all kinds of hell, and she hates confrontation. She’s so scared to be seen as difficult.
I get to make a couple of phone calls in the morning on my way to work (that doctor is getting copies of everything that ER is doing, and I’m going to make damn sure she knows what she did), and due to the additional damage in her body from that pheochromocytoma that no one would look into further (again, for two fucking years), it’s possible that the the masses are malignant.
And she only found out because she nearly died, because no one would fucking listen to her, because of her weight, gender, and age (that’s the order they go in every time she tries to get help, each one brought up to further gaslight her).
They may have actually caught it without further damage if they’d just listened. They don’t LISTEN.
My mom can’t do confrontation without crying (I do this, too) and not being able to say what she needs clearly, so they label her as hysterical and do the bare minimum of something relatively benign and usually unrelated so they can get her out.
I can’t do anything from here, I can’t help, I don’t know what to do with myself, and I’m so angry but have nowhere to direct it (I’m also sick, so I can’t do much, anyway - that’s why I can’t make the drive two states up).
I just needed to get this out in a place where I know other people have experienced similar. Fuck this goddamned misogynist hellscape. Fuck those “endocrinologists.” Fuck that negligent piece of shit doctor.
I can’t say any more. I don’t know what’s happening to her, and I’m really scared.