This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/LolaGirmush on 2023-08-06 14:02:04.
We got married about a year ago, but this has been a problem throughout our relationship. We are very different personalities - he’s an introvert, career driven, sensible, very concerned about money etc. I’m a huge fan of travelling, being active, a little woo/hippy. Despite this, we do get along very well and generally have a good time together.
The other day we were discussing our honeymoon which we have yet to take. Whilst proposing ideas for travelling we could do, he got upset and said that I was pushing him away from his goals to buy a house and a new car. For him, a honeymoon just isn’t necessary. We should save that money and put it towards material things that we need. I tried to explain that a honeymoon is important for a relationship, it’s important to me, we need to set time and money aside to invest in the relationship itself rather than just material things.
Anyway - it dawned on me that my husband doesn’t and has never really liked or respected who I am as a person. I travelled a lot in my twenties which he implies was a mistake/silly way to spend money. He has never asked me anything about these travels and seems to think of the person that I was as a bit of an inconvenient truth rather than something to love and respect. This a major example, but it’s an attitude that bleeds into everything - feels like my interests either range from not worthy of attention or discussion, right down to something I should stop or be ashamed of.
He’s also hyper critical, every day telling me that I haven’t done something right, why did I do it like that, next time do it like this. I feel like everything I do, everything I am is wrong to him and requires “correction.”
Am I overreacting? I spoke to him about this and he brought up examples of how he cooks and cares for me, which is wonderful, but I want him to show some appreciation for the person I am - not just because I’m his wife but to really love and respect me for my individual personality.