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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/RedFloatingSpaceDog on 2023-08-06 03:47:11.
I’ve always been solitary by nature and am very happy single. I have lived alone for most of my adult life and I overall quite enjoy it. However, I am not against keeping the door open to a man that I jive with. In fact, I would quite like to share my life with someone special. In all my personal experiences at least, these men will claim to love you, want to take care of you, etc UNTIL it comes to household/“feminine” tasks. They all claim that they agree with splitting these responsibilities. I just end up being massively disappointed down the road. The only time I really find the truth about this is when I get to the point of cohabitation, at which I often have already invested a lot into this person. I’m not looking for a perfect 50/50 split per se, nor do I “keep score”. It’s that if I have to come home and deal with the crap of another extra human being on top of my own after a long day at work (my job is very physically demanding) while they get to chill, game, go out or whatever, there’s clearly a problem here.
The men I’ve dated so far are not bad people and actually many of them have good hearts. I just genuinely question if wasting energy on having to constantly ask or delegate any of this nonsense is worth it. That, and what I said earlier about pouring your heart out for someone only to get disappointed. At least I know that when I live alone my messes are mine alone. I do all my basic plumbing, car stuff. yard work, carpentry, etc unless it’s an issue that’s beyond my scope and needs a professional. And quite frankly I enjoy anything mechanical.
This isn’t a man bashing post and I don’t want to put everyone in the same basket. Heck, most of my friends are guys because my hobbies and workplace are male dominated. I’m sure men who share these chores are out there but they clearly are an absolute statistical anomaly. When you look at every study and every statistic ever to exist on this, the woman does the lion’s share of unpaid labor every single fucking time, even in the most “equal” ones. Those statistics also show that marriage more often than not ends up being a shit exchange for women. It just makes me want to throw in the towel.
Sure, traditions die hard. I’m just saying irrespective of gender, who WANTS to do housework and clean up after other people? Any human being would rather go do something fun. I don’t even want to turn this into a whole man/woman thing. I’m just a normal human who, if they share a roof with someone, wants to be with someone who will do their share in life’s annoying but inevitable chores so we each have more time to have fun together and pursue what we love. It doesn’t sound like much to ask for but by golly, it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. I remember once seeing all these women in my friend’s family going through the trouble of preparing a feast and cleaning the house before everyone shows up. Then afterwards all the women wash dishes while all the men just sit on their asses talking and drinking. Like no fucking shit Sherlock, anyone with a brain, man or woman, would much rather sit on their ass, talk, drink, and enjoy themselves instead of having to deal with everyone’s crap. Yet everyone acts all surprised why today there are so many single women who live alone and do so by choice.