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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/purrsnikitty on 2023-08-06 01:14:23.
I(25f) had one rule when we moved in together 2 years ago: if she(24f) wants the master bedroom with attached bathroom, then the other bathroom in the house is mine. She can use it if she wants, but her guests are never to go into it as it’s considered to be my private space.
She and her boyfriend got home a bit ago and he immediately went into my bathroom. I asked her about it and she said they both use it when they have to do more than pee, so as to have more privacy. She’d completely forgotten about my rule.
I keep much of my space clean and organized, but my bathroom sometimes isn’t: I have an open hamper that usually is in there, I have left some underclothes on the ground after showers, I hang my bras in there to dry after washing them. I also have prescription medications I keep in there. If I know we are going to have guests over like family or my friends, I ensure it’s clean and prepared for that. I don’t for her guests, because I thought we had an understanding.
I am also blind, and that makes it feel even worse. I can’t see if he walks in there, I can’t see if anything has been moved around (I just have to rely on my memory of where things were). I have good reason to fear that even if I reitterate the rule and how violated this made me feel, it will still happen because she can rely on the fact I can’t see or simply when I’m not around.
She’s had quite a few people over over the past 2 years, and it just makes me feel so gross and violated to know that they’ve been in there. Even if it was spotlessly clean and organized, I still feel so disrespected. It was my 1 rule. We share everything equally (I often pay a bit more just to help out), and I feel like i’ve been taken advantage of. I’m going to have a talk with her about it, but I just wanted to get this off my chest. Am I being unreasonable?