This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwracoworker6 on 2023-08-05 18:27:11.
So there’s this girl; let’s call her Amy. We have been working in the same lab together all summer. Amy has always been the one to contact me on topics outside of our labs. She somehow got my number From a friend of a friend and randomly texted me. I made sure to look over all our texts, and she has been the one to initiate contact 100% of the time. A lot of the time, I am just replying to her messages to be nice. (The messages aren’t serious; they are just wyd and hyd.)
Now that she recently confessed her feelings to me (I genuinely didn’t even know she was a lesbian and really don’t know how she came to like me because I swear we aren’t close), I told her I didn’t feel the same and I was sorry, and I couldn’t reciprocate these feelings for her because I am straight. She said, Ok, can we continue to be friends? I was kind of confused because I never really considered her a friend, just more of an acquaintance because we never met outside of labs, but If she considered that friends, then whatever, so I said only if you’re comfortable because why would she want to be friends if she had feelings?
She had asked me about four times in the past if we could go out for coffee. I normally make an excuse and leave, but before she asked me the other day, she asked what I was doing, and I said nothing, so when she asked me for coffee, I couldn’t really make up an excuse. This was for after our lab. We went out for coffee, and we made small talk, then all of a sudden she told me she could have sworn I was gay because of her. I just laughed it off, and then she told me she kind of felt led on by me. She was like, Oo, I got her water that one time, and I am always asking if she is okay, and that is only because she is an incoming sophomore and this is her first lab, plus she is working on rats and also doing a lot of dissecting since she vomited (that was the time I got her water). The first time we were working, our professor asked me to look after her. Then she tells me she saw me kiss a girl at a party and that I shouldn’t be ashamed to come out, and she doesn’t mind dating even if I’m in the closet because she likes secrets. Like wtf. I tell her that at this point she is making me uncomfortable, and I don’t like her like that, so she needs to stop talking to me outside of things that concern the lab. I am an incoming junior, so I am still learning how to be professional and nice, so I can understand that part of this situation is my fault for not setting clear boundaries. But she told her friends that I said she made me uncomfortable with no added context, and these people have decided to work overtime to make me out to be homophobic on campus because apparently you’re not supposed to refer to a lesbian as making you uncomfortable? Are they being dumb, or was that statement really out of line?