This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.
The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwRApostie on 2023-08-05 05:59:07.
I (20f) have a friend (21f) who is disabled and suffers with many medical conditions. In a few weeks, she’s having a very important surgery and will need to heal for at least a week before she can travel by train back home. And she asked me if she can stay with me and my housemate (her other good friend- Jane-23f).
The issue is that Jane is going on holiday and I am going home to visit family so neither of us will be in. She asked if I can cut my visit short and I said no because I haven’t seen them since Christmas.
She pointed out that she can’t afford to stay in a hotel for a week while she heals, and she feels abandoned by her friends when she needs them the most. Especially since she’ll be in tons of pain.
I tried explaining my situation to my friend, but she got really upset and called me selfish and prioritising my own desires over her well-being.
I snapped at her and said ‘The world doesn’t revolve around you. I’m not going to cancel plans to accommodate you.’ The argument spiralled and she stopped responding to me and instead messaged my housemate bitching about me and how I won’t cut my plans short and crying about how she feels like a burden.
My housemate is being neutral but has ultimately said that a surgery/recovery is more important and that I shouldn’t have snapped.
Am I truly the asshole for reacting this way, or is it understandable that I have my own commitments and limitations?