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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/outofprintluv on 2023-08-05 03:21:40.
I’m not sure what to do in this situation and figured people in this community may be able to help. A friend of mine is currently in early phases of dating this guy she met off Hinge. For context, she met him while we were on a break from speaking for a few weeks. When we started speaking again, she began to tell me about him, and even that was already throwing up red flags.
From what I can gather, he’s living out of a hotel, been bouncing between hotels for a few months, his company apparently ‘just dissolved’ but it wasn’t his fault, he’s got no job and is running from the opposite coast (won’t say why just he wanted a change). It didn’t sound great, but I kept an open mind. It’s gotten worse over the few days I’ve heard more. He’s requesting her help to find housing, as in she’s literally searching and contacting places for him. He is stressed about money but keeps blowing it nightly, and they’re seeming to just be on a binge.
The main/biggest concern comes from when she sent a link providing his full name. It took 0.005 seconds of googling the name to find a court case where he had been accused of DV from just last spring. The records from the case are awful, including verbal and physical assault, choking the woman, threatening to maim her with a power tool. He was seemingly stalking her for months as well. It ended in a permanent restraining order. I feel sick having read it at all, and now I have no idea how to tell her. She’s currently with him, having been living in the hotel with him for at least a week from what I can tell, with no plans to return to her own place any time soon. It feels like texting her or calling her with him right there is just dangerous. I’m fairly close with her older sister, and am tempted to call her tomorrow to tell her and see if that helps at all. I truly have no idea what to do as I’ve never been in this type of situation before. Any help or advice that can be given would be so appreciated.
tldr: friend’s new guy from hinge has record of DV & restraining order against him, she doesn’t know and is currently crashing with him so I’m not sure how to tell her.