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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/afafe_e on 2023-08-04 21:16:33.
Has anyone noticed a recent increase of feminists who claim to “love men”? Feminists who primarily address men in their talks, or who spend more time reassuring men that they don’t have problems with them in particular, but with those “other bad men who promote patriarchy”? How did we get here? How did get to a part where, in a movement that is by women, about women and for women, we’ve started centering men?
Don’t get me wrong, feminist conversations should address men occasionally, reeducation should be part of the feminist movement, but these new waves of feminists spending most of their time comforting men, policing their language around men, emphasizing each sentence with “but of course it’s not all men”, as if we ever mean that it’s all men? Why are we tiptoeing around male ego, when we’re talking about human rights and the safety of women?
When we say “one should be careful of mosquitoes because they carry disease” does that mean we mean ALL mosquitoes carry disease? Do we make sure to follow up with an explanation? Or do we simply all understand the underlying truth, that ENOUGH mosquitoes carry diseases for it to be a cause for concern? Yet somehow, whenever we talk about men, we HAVE to mention that it’s not all, lest some dude thinks we’re talking about him personally, when the truth is, THEY KNOW we’re not talking about them, they simply want to derail the conversation, or stop it altogether, and many feminists gladly fall for that trap.
Feminists who judge women for being “a bit too careful around men and hurting their feelings”, or condemning women for saying “men are trash”, or equating misandry with misogyny, and many many other examples of feminists prioritizing the hurt offended feelings of men over the liberation of women, and asking to remain kind in our fight.
But… Were THEY kind when they took our right? Were they kind when they threatened our safety? Were they kind when they denied us bodily autonomy?
They weren’t nice when they believed your rapist, and they weren’t nice when they followed you back home, and they weren’t nice when they catcalled you. The doctors weren’t nice when they didn’t believe your physical pain and called you hysterical. Nothing about our existence as women under the patriarchy is nice, why should we be nice when we fight back?
Screw being nice, rights aren’t given, they are taken, and you don’t ask back nicely for what’s yours, you demand it, you raise hell to take it, you revolt and yell and scream and strike to get it back. And if you’re fighting for equality for women, and asking for it nicely, then I’m afraid you’re in the wrong business.
N.B : this isn’t a call for violence, not is it a call to be a terrible person to others, but it’s call to remember the big picture, feminism is about women, educating everyone should be a part of it, but prioritizing men and centering them is a betrayal to all the feminists who came before us, and fought for the rights we now enjoy.