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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Visual_Pirate_3539 on 2023-08-04 20:29:56.
I made a post in a sub that allows people to express their grievances with the “work force” (idk if I’m allowed to use the actual sub name so I’m just omitting it, but the post is still live in my profile)
I essentially just needed to vent about how I gave up two years of my life to stay home and raise my (accidental) baby. I was frustrated with my job search and how it feels like missing two years worth of work experience was going to prevent me from getting any job that wasn’t going to be absolutely miserable.
In my original post I included details about the many blessings I have received since leaving my daughters dad. I also omitted many private details surrounding the situation that brought me to where I currently stand. Those details were relating to domestic ab*se and my own lifetime of poverty prior to my moms life turning around when she got married during my teen years.
I wasn’t even expecting any kind of response to this in all honesty. But a majority of the comments I ended up receiving have left me feeling rlly fcking angry at people’s blatant lack of understanding and empathy towards women/mothers/victims of ab*se.
I got multiple comments telling me that I was selfish for leaving my ex. Multiple comments telling me that I was lazy and entitled. The general consensus was that I needed to own up to the consequences of my actions (which I don’t disagree with) and that I chose to walk out on a man who was ready to give me his all. i spent way too much time trying to explain the situation to hopefully get people to understand that we made these choices together, that the weight of these actions should not be my burden to carry while my ex is allowed to live his life and pursue his passions free of responsibility.
I know it’s pretty much just a waste of time to try and reason with people who are so quick to blame and judge but I am FRUSTRATED.
It seems that nobody is willing to acknowledge a man’s responsibility in situations like mine. People are so quick to blame the mother for opening her legs, for walking out on the abusive partner, for wishing that she could stay home with her baby, for trusting a manipulative man when she was the most vulnerable during pregnancy and postpartum.
Somehow I’m the one that needs to grow up and get a grip.
It’s really disheartening but at the same time it is the expectation that we live under.
I just don’t understand why I had to get shit on for something that was tearing me apart mentally and at times,physically. Why am I getting shit on simply because I want to raise my child in a safe and nurturing environment, without having to miss out on parts of her life especially considering these things were included in a promise that was made to me and then broken repeatedly.