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The original was posted on /r/nfl by /u/NFLPowerRankers on 2024-10-08 20:00:50+00:00.
Welcome to week 5 of the r/NFL Power Rankings! Can’t all weeks start off with a Thursday Night Football game that good? Week 5 kicked off with an overtime thriller in Atlanta, but that was just one of eight single score games this week. The Jaguars eked their way to their first victory, leaving no completely defeated left in the NFL. The Cardinals upset the 49ers, who look more mortal by the week. Joe Burrow is starting to feel what it’s like to be on the early 2010’s Saints, and the Rams stayed in the game until the bitter end. Is Sam Darnold this generation’s Alex Smith, finally playing for a functional franchise? What does Saleh’s firing mean for the Jets? Did anybody else see the Giants upset the Seahawks? Discuss! 32/32 Reporting
| # | Team | Δ | Record | Comment | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. | Chiefs | – | 5-0 | Kareem Hunt had 102 rushing yards, and Juju had 130 receiving yards in the 2024th year of our Lord. League is actually fucked lmao | |
| 2. | Vikings | – | 5-0 | The Jets had 13 drives on Sunday in London; five were three-and-out’s, and four others ended with a turnover. And the Vikings needed that level of dominance from their so-far historically good defense after Aaron Jones got hurt and sloppy London mists led to an off-day from Darnold, exacerbated by tight coverage from the Jets’ secondary. The Vikings now head into the bye still undefeated and hoping to get Jones and TJ Hockenson back healthy so that they can come out 100% for their heavyweight matchup against the Lions. | |
| 3. | Lions | – | 3-1 | With the Tigers holding it down for Detroit sports over the weekend with a thrilling win via a Kerry Carpenter bomb to even the ALDS series, the Lions look to keep the good times flowing against the Dallas Cowboys this week. Frank Ragnow and Brian Branch both returned to practice yesterday, and Taylor Decker has been spotted practicing reporting his eligibility to the refs in every mirror in the Lions’ training facility. Oh yeah, and JARED GOATY GOFFINGTON HASN’T THROWN AN INCOMPLETE PASS IN TWO WEEKS AND CAUGHT A FUCKING TOUCHDOWN THE LAST TIME HE PLAYED COMPETITIVE FOOTBALL. Anyways shoutout Tarik Skubal, long live the cardiac cats in Motown. | |
| 4. | Ravens | +1 | 3-2 | "Oh, he threw him away like a ragdoll!" aaaaand just like that the Ravens threw the Bengals down to 1-4, tied for last in the division standings and in dire straits for the season as a whole. Make no mistake, the Bengals are a very good team(or at least an extremely good offense) and aren’t likely to go out without a fight. It’s hard to understate just how important of a game this was for a week 5 match up. The difference between being 2-3, with 3 AFC losses and a divisional loss, while squarely in a 3 team race for the AFCN is world’s apart from being 3-2 with a divisional road win and sitting in the driver’s seat. There’s clearly still a ton to be worked on from the defense and special teams units but the talent on paper is there if the proper adjustments can be made. The Ravens’ offense on the other hand is a thing of nightmares for defensive coordinators league wide. Most Ravens’ fans told themselves they wouldn’t get heavily invested in the regular season results again after last year’s AFCCG collapse but boy this squad is making that tough. | |
| 5. | Texans | +1 | 4-1 | This is a Kaʻiminoeauloamekaʻikeokekumupaʻa Fairbairn appreciation post! With his 3 field goals in Sunday’s win against the Bills, he is now the Texans all-time leader in points. Did you know that the NFL record for most 50+ yard field goals in a season is 11? After 5 weeks, Fairbairn is at 8 already. What I’m trying to say is that without Ka’imi, the 2024 Houston Texans would not be 4-1 and it’s time he gets his acknowledgment. | |
| 6. | Bills | -2 | 3-2 | The good news is that the Bills are still in first place! Other than that tidbit there hasn’t been too much going right lately for Buffalo. After a blowout loss to the Ravens, the Bills followed up that performance with a heartbreaking last-second loss to the Texans in week 5. The Bills once again suffered from a slow start being outscored 17-3 in the first half while generating a measly 71 total yards for the half. Shakir’s absence was felt throughout the game as Josh Allen struggled to move the chains completing only 9 passes on 30 attempts. Panic is beginning to set in on the offensive side of the ball as the Bills badly need a premium wide receiver. Davante Adams anyone? Despite their early season inefficiencies the Bills remain in control of a weak AFC East and will look to prove that against a Robert Saleh-less Jets team. | |
| 7. | Commanders | +4 | 4-1 | The average Washington fan can be seen anxiously looking around, trying to find the TikToker holding a phone recording them for this obvious prank. We’re in season 1 of a complete rebuild with an entirely new staff and almost entirely new team, and this is what we get?? We’re the leading story in the NFL, and it’s not our shitbag owner doing evil billionaire shit?? This will be the cruelest prank the football gods ever pulled if this isn’t real. Week over week, this Washington team just gets better and better. A week two performance where the offense could not get in the end zone seems decades ago, replaced by an offense that seemingly can’t miss in the red zone. The Browns presented the biggest defensive challenge so far this season, and the first quarter seemed like the team was coming back down to Earth; but after a few adjustments, this offense was back into it’s unstoppable form headed by emerging OROY, if not MVP, candidate Jayden Daniels. An offensive line that was deemed suspect in the offseason held Myles Garrett to ZERO recorded stats and escorted the three-headed rushing squad to Major Tuddy’s house 3 times. JD5 continues to make mind-boggling throws and escapes. The defense too seems to be playing inspired football, led by key offseason hires Frankie Luvu and Bobby Wagner. Washington is the team to beat in the NFC East, and expectations for a deep playoff run are starting to form around the league. A win this weekend against the always dangerous Baltimore Ravens would solidify this team as an actual contender. To our Viking friends, let us join in solidarity and accept our new positions as lords of the NFC; may our reigns be long, and our shit talking merciless, for we have earned this moment. | |
| 8. | Buccaneers | -1 | 3-2 | Amazon suggested: If you are a Buccaneers fan watching the TNF game, you can now buy a bundle of pills and alcohol for low price + free express delivery if you are a subscriber of Amazonopolis+ (but please, under any circumstances do not read the fine print) | |
| 9. | Packers | +3 | 3-2 | A perfectly cromulent win. The offense had enough explosive plays to score a decent amount of points. The defense got just barely enough stops to keep the Rams from scoring enough points to overtake us. Xavier McKinney became the first Packer since Irv Comp in 1943 to intercept a pass in 5 consecutive games, thank you Pro Football Journal for that very cool! | |
| 10. | 49ers | -2 | 2-3 | Another week, another disappointing loss to a division opponent. The 49ers seemed to have the game in control the entire first half, holding a 23-10 lead at the break. The Cardinals reeled off 14 unanswered, including a last minute FG as time expired. So far in the young season, all 3 phases of the game have shown weaknesses, and there is no McCaffrey-level return looming for the defense and special teams. The team plays in Seattle on Thursday night. | |
| 11. | Falcons | +5 | 3-2 | "They couldn’t capitalize like Atlanta could" is the slogan of the season, Kirktober is upon us. Pitts and Mooney both had their best game since 2021, London’s one of his best games ever, the franchise single game passing yards record broken. All on Matt Ryan night. Atlanta stands atop an NFC South, 2-0 in the division which saw three teams lose this week. Everybody knows close games can go either way, but the Raheem Morris Falcons have already set precedent for who they’ll responds in those moments. From Jesse Bates’ forcing a fumble, or a 7 second line up and spike, this team is bringing situational preparedness to another level. The Falcons are still relatively mistake prone, but looking unafraid to make those mistakes. A next man up mentality also proved itself when KhaDarel Hodge came into the game for one play, or Ruke’s not insignificant debut, this team looks downright youngry in the right light. So far the Bills and Bengals have each picked a player off the practice squad. Falcons look to avoid a trap game that took them down last year, as the Falcons travel to bank of America stadium next week for their third division face-off. | |
| 12. | Seahawks | -3 | 3-2 | Welp… it was fun while it lasted! But not being able to stop a nosebleed against the Malik Nabers-less Giants is not encouraging. This team is at their best when Kenneth Walker is being fed the ball, and that did not happen on Sunday. The offensive line is a mess. Onto week 6. The Seahawks play the STOOPID 49ers on … |
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