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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/FitPurchase99 on 2023-08-04 14:51:15.
Firstly, thank you for all the advice and understanding from my first post, which can be found on my profile.
But to quickly recap, Vanessa, my best friend, and I have agreed to always split the check in half no matter how much we ordered. She recently got promoted and took us to a trending spot to which I’ve never gone to before. The check ended up being a total $560, out of which I had only ordered around $145. This has always been the ratio in almost every dinner, brunch, or lunch because she not only has a bigger appetite, she will also sometimes order the more expensive items while I have a smaller appetite. BEFORE we ordered, I had told her that I will be paying for my own food only, to which she had said “okay”. But after we had eaten and she saw that I actually was paying for my food only, she said she thought I was joking about paying for my own food only and said “she wouldn’t have ordered so much if she knew I was being serious”. Ended up with her saying “fine then, I’ll pay for my own food” and then she left without me. I felt like I was an asshole for doing that on her promotion day instead of having a conversation about it some time before, but honestly I never had a chance to bring it up and after my sister had mentioned that I shouldn’t be paying half when our orders were so unbalanced I couldn’t continue to do it anymore.
Anyway, Vanessa has apologized for being mad and abandoning me at the restaurant because of the fight that we had, knowing that she had picked me up since my car was being fixed and I had to Uber home. I told her that since she had the promotion, she had to treat me to dinner and pay for the both of us like other friends do, to which she agreed and said that in order to make up for it she will take me out to dinner and pay for the entire meal. Which she did last night and she stayed true to her word and even told me that I can order whatever I want no matter the price. We also had a long conversation about future dinners and stuff and we agreed to pay for our own food and get separate checks unless either one of us wants to pay for the entire dinner in the case of a promotion, celebration, or et cetera.
I also want to address the male comments claiming that she’s fat and we eat too much as women. First, we’re both very fit and stromg. I’m 5’7 and she’s 5’9. Second, the $560 was because it was an expensive place, so if you think we “ate too much”, then you’ve never taken a girl out to a fine dining restaurant.
Anyway, the conclusion is, we resolved the problem and I greatly appreciate all the good advice and comments.